A Great New Idea!

My opinions are important, y'all. I swear!

Today, I have decided to take a more pathetic approach to my already pathetic life by starting a blog that no one will read. The interesting part is I imagine that one day someone may care what I have to say.
This phenomenon is known as the "blogger effect," which can be defined as "no one realizes you have to have something special happen to you for people to actually read what you post online." 
For example, you could be famous for unknown reasons, like a Kardashian. Or, you can get hit by a bus and live to tell the tale. 
You can't just be really good at spelling, like me. 
You also usually need to have good jokes, unlike me. 
Today, I tried to make my roommate laugh. Then I realized I live alone - it might be because my name is Sparkles.

I live alone on the bad side of town, a place where a new trend of "Thou Shalt Not Kill" signs are abundant in front of my neighbors' homes and yet few people acknowledge them, it seems. I live next to a man who once killed my dog with a lawn mower. It was also a Monday, so you know, that always sucks. I decided to forgive and forget, but it might be because he held a gun to my head when I got all in his face.
My hair has also turned green for an unknown reason and I woke up with my nails painted orange, which would be fine on any other day, but the orange color doesn't seem to be coming off. Ever. Essentially, I am the troll living under the bridge. But don't let that stop you from reading on day by day about my super exciting life.
 

Until tomorrow, when I tell my diligent non-readers about the mishaps of my day.
And there will be mishaps.

Sparkles