Have You Seen My Childhood?

So, after a relaxing holiday I decided I'd get back to work on my writing. I had gotten a little frustrated and any loyal reader would probably notice that my posts were beginning to get more and more uninspired.
Anyway, today I want to talk about my childhood.
I'm not going to go WAY back - some of it is still painful to talk about, but I'll go into detail as I become more accustomed to sharing personal stories on the Internet.
I wasn't always this poor - when I was a teenager and still lived in my hometown, I went to an expensive all-girls Catholic high school. Naturally I had friends much wealthier than I, and one year a friend asked me and another girlfriend to attend her family vacation to Florida over spring break.
We had so much fun. It was the good old days, days I'll never forget. I will always remember the feeling of having these two girls that I could really let my guard down with. Over the years we drifted apart, but I still check in with them from time to time.
We may have seemed like innocent, 17-year-old schoolgirls at the time, but each night, we really partied hard. The drinking, the recreational drugs, it was like something straight out of a movie - one of the movies that I aspired for my life to be like. One night I met a guy named Drew. He was stunning - tan, broad shoulders, exactly my type. He looked like he jumped out of an Abercrombie catalogue. I assumed he was my age. I ditched my friends for the night and went with him to his own condo, and we had a very...romantic night to say the least. I would say that this was one of my most exciting sexual experiences, and it was one of my first.
The next day, Drew and I parted and I dished to my friends about our night together. My friends had been with Drew's friends talking while I was gone, and it turned out he was not who I thought he was. In fact, he was a 25 year old construction worker who was engaged to be married later that week.

I guess you could say he knew how to drill...ok, you're allowed to groan at that one.

Moral to the story - be careful who you hook up with when you're 17. You might just become an accidental homewrecker.
Sparkles

The Perils of Online Dating

I know it has been a few days since I've used this blog as my outlet so I don't begin to go insane, but I'm back and I might have gone just a little insane.
Well, I finally caved in and decided to try online dating. Bill thinks I really need to get laid and I can't say I disagree.
I can't afford to buy a subscription to any of the trustworthy sites like Match.com, so instead I logged on to okcupid.com and created a profile.
Boy, have I been popular on there!
I'm not sure if I should be flattered or afraid.
I'll keep my loyal readers updated on my adventures to come.
Oh, and if you want to reach out to me on the website, my screen name is sparklesvan.

I Hope I Don't Get Abducted,
Sparkles

Protect Your Home

Hello again,
Today I want to write about mice.
Mice are small mammals with pointed snouts and long tails.
They are usually nocturnal and nearly blind, so they rely on their hearing, because their ears are so big and stuff.
Baby mice are hairless and very creepy-looking.
Some people keep mice as pets.
Some people think mice are cute, and some think they are repulsive.
I found a mouse in my house once, and I felt kind of bad just squishing it with my shoe like a bug. So I decided to keep him a little cardboard box with holes poked in it. He didn't really like me though, because he scratched his way out, ate all my cereal then literally chewed a hole in my wall and now it seems like his whole family enjoys staying in my home and raiding my cereal boxes.

Everyone kill your mice,
Sparkles

A Synopsis of Emma Nelson's Life (And How It Relates To Mine)

Emma Nelson starts out as just a normal teenager who was born when her spiky-haired mother was four-freaking-teen, with an online boyfriend from Africa...or something.
But not an episode of the fine television show that is Degrassi: The Next Generation goes by without something incredibly life-threatening happening.
Jordan, the love of her life, turns out to be a 40-something year old creepy rapist who wants to meet her in a hotel room, and she takes the bait.
In a very un-Degrassi fashion, however, she ends up not getting raped.
Anyway, her goal in life seems to be meeting her estranged father.
She ends up finding him!
And he is in a mental institution because he dropped acid once and jumped off a bridge. He later tries to terrorize Emma and her pregnant mother by following them to their home.

He's Shane McKay!

One time, she embarrassingly got her first period at school. So naturally she starts a campaign to add tampon dispensers to the school bathrooms, the humble beginnings of her hippie-ness and annoying extreme feminism.
However, she starts dating the misogynistic bad boy, Sean.
Emma's mom marries her teacher - well that must suck.
You know what also sucks?
Performing oral sex on the bad boy Jay by the lake in exchange for a colored bracelet and contracting gonorrhea of the throat. Another day in the life of Emma!
And when her new step-dad kisses her boyfriend's mom/school principal.
It's a small world in the town of Degrassi.
Anyway, Emma goes through a bunch of other ridiculous stuff that hardly happens to any actual people in this large of a combination, including a high school pregnancy scare, an eating disorder, streaking at school, and becoming a pothead. Then, her best friend Manny becomes famous and she is never seen in Degrassi again.
She was replaced by more people who go through the same exact things as her!

I find it unfathomable how bad these kids' fictional lives are.
It can't just be one thing - everyone knows you can't be a character on Degrassi without approximately 93482034 horrible things happening to you.

Anyway, I can relate to Emma not because I am a hippie or like chatting with perverts online, but because I didn't know my biological father either.
I didn't know either of my biological parents, actually, as I spent my childhood in foster care.
When I found out about this special thing called the Internet, I tried to track them down, but I gave up shortly after because, why bother?
I was also scared they would be like Shane McKay, to be honest. 

Whatever it takes,
Sparkles

Guess Who's Back?

Diligent non-readers!!!
I want to apologize deeply for taking 3 whole days off from telling you about my life.
I wasn't able to make it to the library because I was really busy with work.
Actually, I want to tell you all about this fantastic book I just discovered, to you readers out there who take your reading beyond your computer screen.
It's called A Million Little Pieces.

Can't believe I'm just hearing about this book!

I just found it in the library today, and wow, it is amazing! It's by James Frey and you wouldn't believe how much this man has been through. He can be a true inspiration to just about anyone! The best part is that this is a TRUE STORY. I found it in the nonfiction section, and apparently he's even been on Oprah and everything. I haven't finished reading it yet, but it sure is a page-turner. Of course, the most impressive thing is that this man really went through all of this; I couldn't even imagine. What a tough life.

Keep reading!
Sparkles